Helping Children Learn Emotional Regulation: Practical Strategies Families Can Use Every Day
Every child experiences big feelings frustration, excitement, worry, anger, sadness. For parents and caregivers, one of the most important roles we have is helping children learn how to understand and manage these emotions. This skill, known as emotional regulation, is linked to better mental health, stronger relationships, and greater success in learning.
The good news? Emotional regulation isn’t something children are born knowing. It’s a skill and just like reading or riding a bike, it can be taught, practiced, and strengthened at home.
Why Emotional Regulation Matters
Brain development: Young children’s brains are still developing the ability to calm themselves. They borrow calm from the adults around them.
Behaviour is communication: A tantrum, shouting, or withdrawal is often a child’s way of saying, “I don’t know how to handle this feeling.”
Long-term resilience: Children who learn to manage emotions in healthy ways are more likely to bounce back from challenges and cope with stress later in life.
5 Practical Tips Families Can Try at Home
1. Name the Feeling Out Loud
Children need a vocabulary for emotions before they can regulate them. Try:
“I can see you’re frustrated that the block tower fell.”
“You look really proud of your drawing!”
📌 Why it works: Naming feelings helps children make sense of what’s happening inside and builds emotional literacy.
2. Model Calm
Children learn regulation by watching how we handle our own feelings. Try:
Saying out loud, “I’m feeling stressed, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths.”
📌 Why it works: You show children that emotions are normal, and there are healthy ways to cope.
3. Practice “Calm-Down” Tools Together
Create a family toolbox of calming strategies:
Deep belly breathing (“smell the flower, blow out the candle”).
Stretching or shaking out the body.
Listening to quiet music.
A cosy corner with soft toys or books.
📌 Why it works: Children build habits by practicing when calm, so they can use these tools when upset.
4. Use Routine and Predictability
Transitions (bedtime, leaving the house, mealtime) are common emotional “hot spots.” Try:
Giving warnings (“5 more minutes of play, then it’s time for dinner”).
Using visual schedules or routines.
📌 Why it works: Predictability reduces anxiety and helps children feel secure.
5. Praise Effort, Not Perfection
Notice when your child is trying to regulate, even if they don’t get it “right.” Try:
“You took a big breath instead of shouting that was a great choice.”
📌 Why it works: Encouragement reinforces positive strategies and builds confidence.
A Final Thought for Families
Learning to regulate emotions is a journey. Children won’t get it right every time and neither will we. What matters most is consistency, connection, and patience. When families practice emotional regulation strategies at home, they give children the lifelong gift of resilience, self-confidence, and stronger relationships.
At Mindful Support for Children and Families, we’re here to support you in building these everyday skills, one small step at a time.
